Let’s face it. Being needy has a bad rep, rightfully so. Take a second and think about the qualities of a needy person. Are they fun to be around? Chances are, they aren’t. And if we’re being honest here, we’ve all suffered from the “needy syndrome” at least once or twice in our lives. And that’s ok.
We’re here to learn and improve. Admitting we have a problem is the first step, right? So let’s admit it. Say it with me: I am capable of being needy. GREAT JOB!
Now that we’ve admitted this less than desirable characteristic, we can do something about it.
Neediness is about fear.
The more fearful we are, the more we cling to other people, things, and ideas that leave us stuck. And brace yourself for another hard truth: our fear is usually about our insecurity. As much as some of us like to pretend, we aren’t totally secure with ourselves. Think about it. Who are we without that awesome job, impressive degree(s), speedy car, or hot partner?
The purpose of losing in life is to remind us that our identity is not in what we have or the things we lose. I mean if we can lose something, we must not be that thing – right?
The concept of “needing nothing” can come off as quite odd. Of course we need some things – we need food, water, and shelter.
Consider Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. According to Maslow, the American Psychologist, all humans have basic needs. In short, the most basic of needs are food, water, warmth, and rest. We also have needs for safety, love, and esteem.
This isn’t about attempting to live without food and water, although some people do, which is a post for another time. What’s important is distinguishing our wants from our needs and ultimately understanding that our true identities are not found outside of ourselves. Most importantly, the more content we are with our realities, the more we attract.
Worry comes when we begin thinking about the past or the future.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting more for ourselves and our families. But becoming consumed with what we don’t have (our “needs”), produces worry and fear. And worry and fear do not lead to the awesome results we long for.
We’re human, and it’s normal to feel stressed when we go through tough times. The good news is that we don’t have to be confined to a normal life experience! We can change our perspective. In this moment, we have all we need.
Now take a second and imagine what it would feel like to be totally secure and content with who you are — right now, in this moment. Feels good? That, my friend, is the beauty of needing nothing.
Agree or Disagree? I’d love to hear from you!